No. 1, No. 2... and the best of the rest

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  The Murray Mouth

  

  Sugars Ave, Hindmarsh Island, Goolwa First on the list from our backyard is at the mouth of the Murray River - right where our journey is set to begin.  Yes, this toilet block is rough as guts, but you simply can't beat the view from the front door! There's no running water or soap, so bring your own hand sanitiser. It's marked wheelchair friendly, but you'll need to be a Paralympian to negotiate the sandhill.

  After you're done, step outside to breathe in some of the cleanest air on the planet as you look over the Southern Ocean. It's paradise for anglers, bird-watchers and nature lovers. For us ordinary folk, bring your camera - you'll get plenty of great shots for the album.

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  Goolwa Beach

  

  Beach Rd, car park Where else but Downunder can you get a toilet, an SLS tower and quality takeaway, all within steps of a magnificent stretch of beach? The dunnies are dreary, but there are stalls aplenty. There's also 4WD beach access; a scenic lookout for the fairly fit; plus good food and great coffee at Bombora Cafe.

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  Alexandrina Council & Library

  

  11 Cadell St, Goolwa Who says councils can't get their act together? These facilities are well equipped and very clean. Right in the centre of town, there's shops galore to browse through; or sit in the sun and watch the world go by. But beware: the Centre is closed on Sundays!

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  On the river

  

  Barrage Rd, south end, Goolwa A stone's throw from the water's edge, the eco-friendly His & Hers facilities will give you the genuine bush toilet experience, while safeguarding your privacy and offering a sanitary seat to ease your woes.

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  The Mill @ Middleton

  

  29 Mill Tce, Middleton While they aren't strictly public, these toilets are kinda quirky. Situated in an old mill built in the 1850s, the dunnies provide a fascinating glimpse of history. There's only one loo for him and one for her, but the decor – and fragrant soap – make up for the lack of cubicles.

  The Mill, which is halfway between Goolwa and Victor, provides a welcome pit stop for weary travellers. While you're there, enjoy coffee or tea with a slice of home-made cake, or sample quality local wines. Interior decorators will love the  vintage French furniture for sale.

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  Bashams Beach

  

  End of Basham Rd, Middleton Snakes alive! While privacy is guaranteed, personal safety is obviously not. This very basic bush loo is conveniently situated at the entrance to both Basham Beach and the Encounter Bike Track. Those in wheelchairs be warned – access is via a fairly steep sandy path. Also, there's no soap or water. On a positive note, there's a picnic table with views over the ocean, so it's a good little spot for an impromptu picnic lunch.

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  Horseshoe Bay, Pt Elliot

  

  Beach car park Family-friendly beach loos, big enough to change into your bathers. There's a fun park for kids, BBQ facilities and easy access to one of the most popular beaches on the Fleurieu. Not all that clean and there's no soap, but we visited at the end of a busy weekend.

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  The Strand, Pt Elliot

  

  Opposite the old Council Chamber Step back in time as you step through the dunny door. Well-maintained, basic amenities nestled among heritage buildings and quaint little shops. You can catch the SteamRanger at the station across the road.

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  Hotel Elliot

  

  The Strand, Pt Elliot Searching for a more civilised experience, with automatic soap dispensers and warm water to wash your hands? This local favourite caters for your every bathroom need and offers hearty fare for the whole family. Thirsty? Kick back in the beer garden, secure in the knowledge that there's a thunderbox worthy of your thunder just down the passage...

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  Victor Harbor

  

  Coral Street Right in the centre of town, these loos are conveniently located. While the mosaic street front is pretty as a picture, the amenities aren't great. The smell sent us running down the road to the hotel! On a positive note, wheelchair access is good, with a decent ramp and wide door.

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  Kleinigs Hill Lookout

  

  Hindmarsh Road, Victor Harbor A must-stop spot for travellers. From the whale's tail lookout, one gets a panoramic view of Victor, Granite Island and the Bluff. Amenities are basic but clean, although the wheelchair ramp is quite steep. The visitor information board is handy, before you drive down the hill into town.

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  On the Lake

  

  C/o Bartel Bvd & Matthew Flinders Dr, Victor Harbor Don't get put off by the ugly bunker-style building! These public toilets are clean, offer good wheelchair access, have soap dispensers - even hooks on the doors. Situated in a family-friendly park complete with gazebo overlooking the lake, it's a good spot for a picnic. The Cafe on the Lake, conveniently located opposite the loos, has an extensive takeway menu, with plenty of choices for kids.

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  The Anchorage Hotel

  

  C/o Coral St & The Esplanade, Victor Harbor This hotel's dunnies rate best of the bunch in Victor. There are automatic soap dispensers and, hurrah, doors that extend all the way to the floor! The Anchorage has also put the 'p' back in private - urinals are in cubicles, too. The baby change room, situated inside the ladies' room, is unusually spacious. The hotel offers the best coffee in town; it's fully licenced; and serves up a decent breakfast and hearty lunch, including gluten-free options. There's no better way to take a break from travelling than sitting on the front verandah, overlooking the Southern Ocean.

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  Granite Island

  

  Victor Harbor No visit to Victor is complete without a tram ride or walk to Granite Island. If exercise gets things going, don't despair - there are public facilities at the end of the walk, at the bottom of the stairs. Plenty of stalls, clean, and situated in a scenic spot: what more could the weary traveller want?

  Once you've relieved yourself, take the time to walk around the island. Yes, it is steep in parts, with plenty of stairs, but it's well worth the effort. Photo opportunities abound: there are spectacular views, plenty of birds, and the chance to spot a seal. The young and the young at heart will love meeting the fairy penguins.